You are an expert parent

Awwww cute

Did you instinctively know what to do when you were first handed your baby?

My last post about being an expert parent prompted the thought that actually you are the expert parent…. You know your kids, you know your situation and you know what you know to help you deal with every situation.  Then I got to thinking about those first few days of having your first new baby – the parent becomes an expert overnight, suddenly you are handed the baby whenever it cries with comments like “here you go, he wants his mummy”, at which point you smile adoringly and panic like mad ….. knowing that you have not a clue what the baby wants or why it is crying – you try the boob or the bottle, then put the baby over your shoulder, put it down for a sleep but it still carries on crying …. and yet everyone is saying you’ll know what to do………. before you gave birth, everyone was saying you’d know what to do when the baby arrived. Being a parent is full of contradictions -

  • When you’re first given your baby you’re treated like the expert and you have no idea what to do next.
  • You love your kids to bits and they drive you to distraction.
  • They love you unconditionally and they are experts at pushing your buttons – in all the wrong ways and in all the right ones too.
  • Our kids learn so much from us and they are our greatest teachers.
  • You know everything about the parenting situations that arise but a fresh pair of eyes/ears can often really help you see more clearly what to do.
  • Becoming a parent creates a family and it can also drive a family apart.
  • It really helps if you are confident in your decision making as a parent, but somehow becoming a parent can really knock your confidence for six.

Despite all of this – and even because of some of it – you are an expert.  You know what will work for you – and when it doesn’t you know that you just have to try something else.  This is why, two of the greatest lessons we learn from our kids are patience and flexibility.  It’s not always easy and lack of patience will always lead to lack of flexibility so these are two lessons that sometimes we need help with.  I know I still need to practice sometimes ;-) In my webinar on Wednesday 18th May I’ll be looking at how to deal with stressful parenting situations so that we can exercise patience and then I’ll be discussing some communication options that have been really helpful to me and to the parents I’ve worked with.  I do hope you’ll be able to join me (and if you’re not going to be free, do sign up and get the recording).   Click here to sign up. We all have the resources to be fantastic parents and we all do the best we can with the resources we have.  Have a fabulous weekend and enjoy the family time if you’re lucky enough to be together this weekend.  Fiona

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One Response to You are an expert parent

  1. Sarah Wood says:

    What a super list of all the inherent contradictions we face as parents! How does anyone become an expert at anything? By listening, learning, then trusting your instinct as to what the best course of action or opnion is? It’s just that when you are first a parent you need to do this instantly – though thankfully babies are pretty robust and it is much harder to ‘break’ them than you think! The key thing around patience for me is in respecting children as people – most of the things I find myself losing patience over at the end of the day are just a difference of opinion – if you can remember that you are bringing up these wonderful little people to be their own person and to have their own opinions, then it makes it easier to deal with their opnions when they inevitably clash with your own!

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